A little over four and a half years ago Daniel Francis appeared on the blog as a guest columnist to discuss his work as a life coach. Feel free to visit https://www.danramirezlibrarian.com/2015/12/08/daniel-francis-on-being-a-life-coach/ to revisit Daniel’s thoughts on life coaching.
I’m honored to have Daniel back on the blog to field questions on how one can be resilient in the current crisis environment we are living in. Daniel and his wife currently offer an assortment of resources to assist others in the form of webinars, blogs, life coaching, and meditation. Visit https://www.alivenwell.net/ at any time to learn more.
Daniel, I think many of us feel totally overwhelmed at times by the events taking place in our world. Four questions I have for you are as follows:
1) What advice do you give per practicing self-care? Please talk about the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of taking care of oneself. Provide practical suggestions if possible.
My dentist refers to good homecare- daily brushing and flossing- as what keeps cavities and root canals at bay; it’s a preventative just as our daily personal hygiene routines. The same is true for self-care. We ignore what is going on in our mind, heart and soul only at our peril. These “places” in our life can seem like a foreign land to those who have not yet opened up the map to self-knowledge. And it doesn’t have to be scary, for truly: any information about ourselves can only help us in the short and long run, even if it may pinch at first. My wife and I are in the process of co-authoring a book on living a healthy, abundant life and one of the aspects is physical health. Just today, we spent nearly two hours doing yard work, will eventually go for an hour’s walk and then–as we’ve done nearly every evening for years before we retire for the night–we’ll take one final walk around the block. It’s always dark, so we bring a flashlight and open our ears. Perhaps the entire 8-9 minutes it takes to walk the block is wordless, or sometimes we’ll discuss something we may have just read or seen on TV. Otherwise, we are breathing in un-conditioned air, moving our legs and lungs and digesting any remains of a (usually) healthy supper we ate. For us, it’s a wonderful way to celebrate the end of a day.
For emotional self-care, don’t let a day end without writing down at least three things for which you are grateful that happened that day. I say “write them down” because the act of writing/scribing/putting pen to paper is in itself a commitment of memorializing. You’re apt to remember your gratitude when it’s something that you have jotted down versus merely thought of in passing. Why is this the first thing I mention about emotional self-care? Because attitude is nearly everything. If you think you’re going to have a bad day, you’re correct. If you think you’re going to experience something amazing, you’re also correct. This is not magic or new age projection; this is awareness and non-resistance. If you are bothered by something, ask some questions. Be curious. “Why did this affect me that way?” “How did he push my button again?” “Why am I still mulling over what she did/said?” Doing so creates a vital DISTANCE between what happened and your response to what happened. One author likens it to a driver who cuts in front of you. You can react immediately by honking the horn or saying something loud (outside or in) or worse… or you can stop your judgment of the other driver (as if you’re braking your internal car) and allow some space in between the event and your response. The key to emotional self-care is taking the time to assume the role of observer of your self. Watch what’s going on in your mind and ask productive questions about what you observe. By doing this, you not only get to know yourself better but also become more adept in harnessing the power over your mind: you make the mind work for you instead of having the ego keep control of its narcissistic world.
Spiritual self-care is organic. No matter what religion you follow (or have graduated from), all of us can appreciate the miracle of creation, the beauty of unity as well as mystery of diversity, the smallness of being one in 7 billion humans on a small blue orb in a solar system part of a galaxy that is merely one in 100 billion galaxies created 13.7 billion years ago. We are so minute and yet we are! Notice there is nothing after the word “are”. We are…. Consider this mantra: God is; I am; I accept; gratefully; in peace. Say this many times and see if it doesn’t bring you calm and wonder and joy and inner solace.
2) How does one positively engage, support, and feel a part of community at this time?
Do what you can do, but do something. Zoom calls have become a great opportunity for some; it’s been a drudgery (to say nothing of technical headaches and phobia) for others. My wife and I have always been friendly by waving and saying “Hello” to others when we do our daily walks and bike riding. But what we’ve noticed is that this time of pandemic has increased verbal contact in strangers. People who are working from home or out of a job and are “taking to the sidewalks” are waving and smiling at us. To feel part of a community is to be in tune with what’s going on in that community. We receive Next-Door Neighbor alerts and read the monthly newsletter for our community. If you are experiencing a disconnect with others at this time, express this to someone who loves you. They might be able to help you re-connect. Whoever began the term “social distancing” really meant “physical distancing.” We need to remain close socially as much as possible during this time.
3) Where does one turn to for inspiration?
If you are a reader, I highly recommend Michael Singer’s “The Untethered Soul” and Eknath Easwaran’s “Conquest of Mind.” My wife and I are currently listening to Adyashanti’s book “True Meditation“. Whenever there are celestial events, such as full moons, comets (Neowise is visible to the naked eye) or meteor showers, we set a calendar reminder and look for them. For us, this is awe and inspiring.
Music is a huge part of our daily routine: we meditate to songs from Liquid Mind; we work at our desk to classical or instrumental music; when we bake or cook, we ask Alexa to also play some of our favorites. This inspires us deeply.
When the pandemic is over, we will be sure to get out to see performing arts (plays, concerts, book readings, seminars) in our area.
Finally, a shameless plug for inspiration would be to subscribe to our “Daily Dose” and “Blog” from our website!
4) Are there any thoughts you would like to share about how to be resilient in a crisis?
Barbara Marx Hubbard writes in “Conscious Evolution: Awakening the Power of Our Social Potential” that crisis and chaos always precede transformation. How hopeful is that! I’m not denying the reality that many are sick now and too many have died. I’m not ignorant of the fact that we do not yet have a universally effective treatment and a vaccine seems months away, if not longer. But you are here. I am here. You can fight with reality all you want and guess what? Reality always wins (no matter what names you might call it). My wife and I have decided to dedicate our lives–principally because of this crisis–to providing a gateway of good news for folks who are lost in despair or have negativity tapes playing all the time. There is too much goodness in this moment now–even the stress and strain of whatever you might be presently experiencing–for us not to feel alive and well.
